JOEL DAVENPORT

Oh, okay. So we’re telling people what happened after high school, right? Assuming a lot has changed, and that these changes would be interesting to hear about… I see.

Is this… do we just get one shot at this? I mean, I’m not a surgeon or a dental hygienist… but that doesn’t mean I’ll never become one. What if my job changes later this year and my new job is so much cooler than my old one?

My gut instinct here is to just talk about the cool stuff. I don’t want anyone thinking I’ve gotten fatter or balder or anything like that. You’d judge me so hard!

Where am I living?
Long story short, I live in Korea some of the time and America the other part of the time. While in Korea, I drank a lot of tea and went to Buddhist temples by the ocean. I got acupunctured by authentic Korean acupuncturists. I chilled at Korean saunas and ate lots ofKorean food. I went to coffee shops and watched cherry blossoms fall.

Exhibit A: 

I didn’t do that all of the time, of course. Most days I just stayed in and watched TV. But somehow it sounds more glamorous if I focus on the exotic bits.

My wife and her family are originally from Korea. 인희 and I dated for about 4 years, and then got married for about 4 years. We had two weddings – one in Korea and one in America.

Exhibit B: 

Part of the courtship ritual.

Exhibit C:

So much swag happening here.

What am I doing?
Where we spend a lot of time Country hopping, I’ve generally chosen jobs that are a little more flexible. I’ve worked as a professional English tutor and Freelance designer. Right now I do in-house graphic design for a nonprofit organization.

Exhibit D:This is how I do.

Where are your kidlings?
If you’re looking for cute babies, we don’t have any. Let me clarify: we don’t have any ugly babies either. We are plum out of babies over here.

I don’t know whether I should be smug about that or not. On one hand, our baby would probably be the cutest/smartest baby ever and that would be cool to brag about. On the other hand, I get a lot of sleep right now, and that’s really nice. Babies are so weird.

Exhibit C:

Isn’t she adorable?

Why are you so successful?
I could probably talk more about my education and career, how I bury piles of cash in the mountains, and how my infinity pool keeps filling up with Ferraris. But this isn’t a competition – and I wouldn’t want to embarrass anybody. Also, I don’t want to get robbed. Finally, it’s probably pretty clear that I haven’t consulted my wife about writing any of this. This is our secret, kapeesh?

What else is new?
Lest you remember me otherwise, after graduating high school I started wearing clothing that fits. I traded in my super baggy pants for some respectable hipster jeans. Tailored suits and all that. (Apparently JNCO’s are coming back... how can we stop this from happening? Should we start a petition?)

I don’t know how you remember me, but I have fond memories of ya’ll. Hope things have been good for you the last 10 years. Word on the street is you’re getting close to thirty. Goodluck with that, ha ha.

Exhibit E:

Maybe you remember me like this?

Now it’s my turn to judge!
Finally, those of you who don’t have facebook… are you like an astronaut or something? You should probably get on facebook… because we all left MySpace a long time ago.

Anyways, I hope this isn’t the last time I’m allowed to do this. I know that our faculty fought hard to prevent a future where I have free reign to address the student body at will. But I guess I’ll just add this to my list of accomplishments and hope for another chance 10 years from now.

Have a good summer.